Where did it come from, all of a sudden? From within? From outside? From me? From them? Could it have been this city, that granted me this ability, this trait? Possibly…no Im certain of it. A side of me that hasn’t received any light, water and hope, a side that couldn’t grow or flourish. A flower that hasn’t been given the environment it needed, to grow, flourish and blossom. But here- this environment- it gave it all that: light to shine, water to grow, air to breathe and hope to be bold.
There must have been something about this place, that made the conditions just right. It only took a week, seven days- I felt it in my heart, I saw it in the sky, how the stars align. No more! I quit, I’m done- with being timid to undermine my capabilities, biting my tongue to keep me from saying what I want to, being in denial of who I really am. Bold.
I see it everywhere; boldness I mean. I see it in myself, I see it in others, bust most importantly I believe in it; this world. A world of making bold choices, choices that might scare me, be outside of my comfort zone- but this is merely a limitation I placed on myself, I am boundless, I can be bold- I need to be, for me to be me. To dare and float in waters unknown, unnamed, undefined. Risk the step, confidently, on shaking grounds. There is no coming back from this, awakened, it erupts, breaks free. Only forward, always bold.
For a while however, when the circumstances changed, once again. It vanished. It was gone. I couldn’t find it anywhere. I was determined, nonetheless, to return to this state of boldness, my true self- where I was permitted to be confident, risk, fall and stand up again- with arms waiting for me to grasp them. It cannot be, I couldn’t accept it- that all of this, all of this stirring and shaking up was bound to this once place.
Boldness means independence, detachment from place and circumstance. But what kind of flower can be unrooted from the grounds where it prospered? None that I knew. But…a flower that can grow without light, water and air is one that can never be disheartened, dried or suffocated. One that will prevail eternally and live boldly, always.
I strive, every day, to seek these unknown, unnamed and undefined waters, the shaking grounds. I want to swim, float, bathe in them. I want to walk, jump, dance on them. And whenever my gaze moves up, my head rests in my neck and looks up, into the sky- I know that this, boldness, the feeling it evokes, is what I need- to grow, develop and flourish. That this is the path I need to follow, that here, the daring, bold and untested, is where I need to be. I will not settle for the ordinary, I will trust, I will not emote, I will not fabricate, I will be. Bold.
Pants- I am Gia The Label
Ankle Boots- Saint Laurent
Shot by Sarah Johanna