Back to Wonderland


I am, you are, we all are Neo. In this Matrix!  

Morpheus said: “You’ve felt it in your entire life, that there is something wrong with the world. You don’t know what it is, but it’s there, like a splinter in your mind…” 

And so it commenced: this quest, search, journey- for meaning and my Self. Within and around myself, I have been looking for answers, clues and hints, for the means to and end / the tweezers to remove this splinter in my mind. The splinter removed by a millimeter- the potion to decrease my size. Uncovering this one truth- the key to Wonderland and at the same time the trigger, which set this domino effect in motion- of revelations, that my vision has been clouded. 

I have–we have, as a collective, forgotten: our place and task, in this ecosystem- continuously developing and “d-evolving” away from truth and further into this matrix, simulation. We are part of this system, we are supposed to be the kings and queens reigning this kingdom. The values, morals and ideals of this position have left us, were ignored and forgotten.

The foundation of it all: Eat your way into paradise, so we can meet in Wonderland, the land of truth, harmony, revelations and being. 

Food. So thoroughly integrated into what our “society” stands for today. Consumption- but of the utterly wrong kind. It provides a foundation for these forgotten values, ideals and beliefs of ethical and moral nature- compassion, reason and love. We have neglected the truths of survival: of our own and that of our environment, only to become criminals. Kings and queens who slaughter their subordinates. With this position comes responsibility and we haven’t taken any for our actions of the last years. 

The key, we want and desire to find, has been right under our noses. Eat the diversity of paradise- in its vibrancy, color and richness. 

Fruits and herbal plants

Will lead you into-


Embark on this journey and reclaim your position! Never forget that-

In a nonsensical world: in which one still dares to dream and give power to imagination for change: is the greatest courage and evidence of humanity one could demonstrate. We will grow apart only until we reunite in paradise. This is Plan _. I am waiting. In Wonderland!

FRUiT by Sarah Johanna

A vegan diet is “the single biggest way” to reduce your environmental impact and save the planet. But how about my FRUiT based raw vegan health lifestyle here in Northern Germany, where I have to import a lot of my fruits from other countries? How does eating non-local whole foods align with my ideals of sustainability? While I think we absolutely must find solutions on how to reduce transport emissions and yet still have high quality fruit – the most vital food for humans – available everywhere, we must also consider other factors in addition to locality when looking at a food’s impact on our planet…

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Fruit trees are SUPERIOR in their benefits to the ecosystem, to farmers and to our personal health:

  • FRUiT TREES allow to utilize vertical space and thus yield most calories / carbohydrates per square acre.1 Carbohydrates are the main source of energy fuel for our cells – we cannot survive without sugars. In my eyes, we must invest into the growth of fruit trees if we want to feed the growing world population sustainably and healthily.
  • FRUiT TREES capture CO2 and breath oxygen into the air. Destroying (tropical) forests for animal agriculture or for growing plants like soy – mostly for feeding industrial animals – sets off huge amounts of greenhouse gases back into the atmosphere.2 
  • FRUiT TREES are permanent (unlike crops) and bear fruit for decades while requesting fewer (harmful) agricultural inputs.3 Fruit trees don’t depend upon harmful monoculuture agricultural practices, such as harsh artificial fertilizers, crop rotations or soil tilling – these monocroppingg agricultural practices destroy our soil and thus threaten our future food security.4
  • FRUiT TREES are essential in permaculture design (permaculture mimics how natural forests and jungles are built – the opposite to harmful monoculture farming) and therefore maximize our ecosystem’s biodiversity.5  Fruit trees are protection, food and homes to various animals + pollinators and they provide the ideal environment for all kinds of other plants to grow beneath, such as shade for shade loving plants. These natural relationships reduce the need for extra watering, which further lowers the footprint of fruit farming.6
  • FRUiT TREES help to conserve the water cycle and reduce storm water management problems – e.g. minimizing erosion by absorbing the water runoffs.7
  • FRUiT TREES serve as windbreaks and living fences protecting other plants8 and have a high tolerance to drought due to their deep root system and perennial (=year round) growth.9 
  • Thus FRUiT TREES provide a safety net during periods of crop failure for farmers.10 We will face more severe storms and droughts more frequently during climate change11 and in my eyes fruit could thus serve as an emergency food source for the human population.
  • FRUiT TREES can be a valuable source of other materials than just fruit for food: wood for all sorts of purposes; tree sap for environmentally friendly rubber, glue, wax;12 fruit, leaves, bark and roots for medicinal uses. Also, fruit forests can be a place for people to learn and live.
  • FRUiT can provide us with a diversity and balance in nutrients, vitamins & minerals making it an excellent source of nutrition and can help our bodies heal from various physical issues such as diabetes13, cardiovascular diseases14 and autoimmune conditions15. In fact, fruit is human food16  – we are not a herbivore but a frugivore species17 that derived from the bonobo ape18 in the tropics. We share a symbiotic relationship with fruit trees by ingesting their fruit and dispersing the seeds back into the ground fertilized with our poop (If we would poop right back into the earth or via a compost toilet.) Can we come any closer to living in harmony with nature?
  • FRUiTS use up less resources like energy and water in terms of A)…NO cooking, no processing required to make fruit edible….and NO additional ingredients (salt, oils, spices) needed to make fruit tasty (compared to animal products, grains, beans and even many vegetables that do not satisfy most people on their own) B)…NO or little packaging and comparatively lower cooling necessary to make fruit last (like all whole foods compared to animal products and processed foods) C)…preventing the development of diseases followed up by resource intense medical procedures and use of pharmaceuticals (compared to animals products and processed foods).

★ SEVEN TiPS for a sustainable fruit based raw vegan diet away from the tropics:

  1. Eat the fruit in season in your country or in a country close to you. In summer I have much more local fruit available and during winter my staples are stored local apples from fall and citrus from Italy.
  2. Purchase as much organic fruit as you can (most organic labels in Europe can be trusted and are no humbug). You will feel how much better high quality organic fruits taste and satiate.
  3. Buy as much fruit as you can from industry independent organizations that support tropical small indigenous farmers. Once in a while I order at Orkos (non-paid advertisement), a small company supplying high quality organic and fair fruit to European countries – the fruit is incomparably tasty!
  4. Try to minimize water intense plant foods like nuts, coffee, cacao/chocolate (they are pricy anyways). I personally do avoid these, because I would get an itchy + inflamed mouth and feel fatigued. And it is even backed by science – unsprouted nuts have an acidic effect on the body and coffee and cacao are also highly stimulative to our adrenal glands, which are responsible for our metabolism and feeling fatigued. 
  5. Prefer fresh whole fruits and vegetables over packaged and processed raw vegan products such as oils, ”raw vegan“ cheeses / sauces / dips etc. – they not only increase our footprint, but also cannot compete with the health benefits of fresh living plant foods. Our body likes it pure and simple for optimal digestion and wellbeing.
  6. Pick your own fruit from public gardens or meadow orchards. During the summer I love to pick berries from bushes or cherries from the tree whenever I come across them. 
  7. Grow your own fruit and greens if you can. We do lots of sprouting at our home and we have some tomatoes in our garden. Like many others, I dream of us all working together towards having our own permaculture land aka fruit forest independent of the industry. 

If you want to FEEL GOOD when eating a fruit based raw vegan diet, make sure to… 

♥ Never restrict yourself, but make sure you are getting enough calories (2000+ per day depending upon your own needs and level of activity).

♥ Balance with fruit vegetables (cucumber, zucchini, tomatoes, peppers, chilli etc.) and leafy greens in the form of green juices and salads. If more grounding is needed, don’t be afraid of having some steamed vegatables or sweet potatoe – this lifestyle is fun as long as you do not make a dogma out of it! Which leads me to:

♥ Just do the best you can! If you do not have fruit available where you live – eating high carb whole plants such as grains and potatoes is very good, too! If you do not have package free fruit, but only wrapped in plastics, in your stores – purchasing that is ok, too! If you do not have access ro organic fruit – you can look at the “dirty dozen clean 15” list and come off very well, too! I am very lucky with the lifestyle available to me and  making this high standard (in combination with lowering our footprint) available to more people is my number one goal in life.

Check out my “what i eat in a day” story highlight on my instagram (+ origin and packaging of my food). Learn more about how to thrive on this high fruit raw vegan lifestyle from rawveganginger.


Drawing by Sarah Johanna

General, LET'S TALK




In this state: comfort.

Is the epitome of bliss—

where I unwind, unfetter from futile worries, stop rationalizing and instead…

roam, am aware and blazingly taking this step

Albeit- no stone’s been set.

Growth and Consolidation.



This journey is my life, this journey is my task. Finding balance.

There have been months of consolidation and months of growth-

Imbalance is unharmonious, not in synch- which I want to be. With myself, the environment and this journey. I had to reflect to learn, learn to know and know to grow. It is a cycle, we inhabit- of life. Doubt overcame me: regarding my Self, my outer shell and task.

Until I finally found both! Where I could consolidate, while growing and grow while consolidating.

Doubt comes, but it also goes fast. Ultimately, I chiseled on a foundation until it was  steadfast. A foundation to remain on and stand steadily- may the winds blow and the waves crash.

This became my point of consolidation, from which I would explore, grow and wander. My place of confidence, trust and belief.

Since then, I have chiseled on many along this journey- there is no going back, no stagnating. It needs to suit my needs, my growth, my Self of that given time. It supports my step and allows me to…

Step on shaking grounds that are on the verge of erupting, making for a fertile soil. Or, even  where no stone has been set and just risking this step.

It is nerve-wrecking, challenging and beyond anything the mind can rationally grasp. It tickles something inside that I have yet to uncover, but can feel. So I am- and always grow on erupting grounds and consolidate on my current chiseled foundation. I am my rock.

Anything is possible, with comfort- in heart and mind.

A gamble of chance. A certainty of destiny. A journey of love.


Shot by Sarah Johanna

*This post was made possible due to the kind team at RADICE sleep, who’ve sent me their sleep-wear on a loan basis for this shooting. Learn more about RADICE here.





Break it apart, this white light, and you will see- color. All, inconspicuous to the naked eye. Aid it; with insight, empathy and understanding…a landscape manifests itself. Full of contrast: darkness, light- visibility.

Some days I spend quite some time on assembling an outfit, on other days I go for a pair of jeans and a black or white t-shirt.

Black and White. I see it as an expressive form of utilizing clothes- the strongest and most dominant choice one could make in my eyes. When the canvas is as plain as possible- denim and a t-shirt in white or black, you paint the picture with your colors. Your personality and everything that you are. Endless. It might sound ridiculous, but here is the thing: I wear three pieces of jewelry every day and night- a silver ring around my ring finger, a choker and a lock pendant in gold around my neck. I usually never take these off. Last summer and now more often, I am asked or ask of myself to take these off for certain activities. Activities where I see it as necessary to let go of what I have defined myself as, letting go of the minor details that materialistically ground me in reality. To explore and see again. Awareness without judgement- observant, seeing it all, taking it in. So I let go, place them on a tray. To relocate and re-center. The energetic and vibratory truth of who I am at the core- without bedazzlement or costume; naked.

Even if I do not take the jewelry off and merely go for “just“ a t-shirt, I feel the most comfortable, at ease and confident. I am not constrained by a piece of clothing, that takes my thoughts of awareness to worrying about something to sitting right. I can just be and move freely.

fullsizeoutput_5519 Kopie

The focus does not lie on the canvas, its texture, fabric or origin, but rather the colors, these rich, full and glistening colors. Finally, finally, they can show and shine through. Expression is found in language- of the body: the eyes, the movement of the hands and fingers, the tilting of the head. To the right, or left, at what angle? The gravity lies in the minute details. See! Expression is found in language- of words: How do the words I have spoken effect others, what energy flows toward them as I speak  ? Attentively I watch them, receive their energy and process their language of body and words. It is a continuous back and forth of energy- in flux.

What is left, when you strip it down to a simple canvas, a simple silhouette. You. This vast landscape of color, light and truth.






Photos by Felicitas Willkomm



We sit around this small  table that is cluttered with wallets, rolling tobacco, filters papes, a fresh ginger tea, a small sparkling water, two gin tonics and nuts. New faces, new people- smalltalk, rapid fire questions, the usual.


The first question: Who are you? So many words roaming through my head to answer this seemingly innocent, uncomplicated and straight forward questions. Should I utter the long, ambiguous and undefined answer-which is an oxymoron in itself? Or should I propound my ethnicity, country of residence, name? Okay…the name it is; it is simple, short and introduces myself well enough; for starters. Our names- all distinctively different, given to us under different circumstances, each holding meaning, each associated with special traits of character, each a label. Judged- by past experiences the listeners have made with people holding that name. Nonetheless, our name is always what sets our foot in the door: we greet people with our name, we sign off with our name. It is almost omnipresent and so are we.


Where are you from? The two cogwheels are turning, trying to set something into motion, trying to get grip of each other. By ethnicity I am labeled as this, through my country of residence since birth I am labeled as this and inside I am… Neither do I identify as only the one or the other. Does this mean I do not not fit in, do not belong anywhere? No. I am everything- all ethnicities, cultures that I was exposed to, that I grew up in. What I learnt in one, is feared in the other- a woman, a religion, an opinion. What I learnt in each enriched me, helped me grow and flourish. I am both, or none at all. I am a citizen of this planet, this world. I find a piece of myself beyond these, in other cultures, traditions and religions. In this box, trapped and enclosed by walls to constrain this boundlessness, this endless potential. Together- we can bring these walls to collapse. An accumulation of box templates, tiles that slowly move towards each other to create new patterns, transitions- without walls, gaps or limitations. We belong everywhere or no where at all.


Well, what brought you here? A time lapse, in my head. Trying to connect all the small dots that lead me here to a line- a line of decisions and chances. It all started with a movie really, and then I read the novel the movie was based on, diving into this world of fiction and subversion, a mirror of our lives. Then- a sleepless night, spent on the computer, watching videos, reading articles and all of a sudden looking up schools… Out of nowhere, to my disbelief the plane ticket was booked, still not fully aware of the situation, what would be ahead of me, what grounding and self-developing journey I would embark….But now, here I am, seated at this table. Well…First I was shy, then I took the initiative and started talking to this one person and he was friends with the other two, so here we are, gathered around this table- all that connects us or maybe more? I could have been somewhere else if I did not: watch this movie, read this book, was restless and sleepless in bed, boarded this plane. Now- I am assured that we met each other for a reason. I can see a piece of me in each of them. I know that when I leave this table their presence, words and being will have left an impact on me. It all happened for a reason, and shaped me. Us.

We are our journey. We are in flux, ever changing- everything. Everything we want ourselves to be- disregarding labels, boxes and words that limit ourselves. We are boundless. We matter, the place we hold in this world matters. Our actions, voices matter. Together- we are.

 A special thank you to Yasmin, Nora and Elisa for sharing their thoughts on this topic, without which this blogpost wouldn’t be what it is now!





Where did it come from, all of a sudden? From within? From outside? From me? From them? Could it have been this city, that granted me this ability, this trait? Possibly…no Im certain of it. A side of me that  hasn’t received any light, water and hope, a side that couldn’t grow or flourish. A flower that hasn’t been given the environment it needed, to grow, flourish and blossom. But here- this environment- it gave it all that: light to shine, water to grow, air to breathe and hope to be bold.

There must have been something about this place, that made the conditions just right.  It only took a week, seven days- I felt it in my heart, I saw it in the sky, how the stars align. No more! I quit, I’m done- with being timid to undermine my capabilities, biting my tongue to keep me from saying what I want to, being in denial of who I really am. Bold.

I see it everywhere; boldness I mean. I see it in myself, I see it in others, bust most importantly I believe in it; this world. A world of making bold choices, choices that might scare me, be outside of my comfort zone- but this is merely a limitation I placed on myself, I am boundless, I can be bold- I need to be, for me to be me. To dare and float in waters unknown, unnamed, undefined. Risk the step, confidently,  on shaking grounds. There is no coming back from this, awakened, it erupts, breaks free. Only forward, always bold.



For a while however, when the circumstances changed, once again. It vanished. It was gone. I couldn’t find it anywhere. I was determined, nonetheless, to return to this state of boldness, my true self- where I was permitted to be confident, risk, fall and stand up again- with arms waiting for me to grasp them. It cannot be, I couldn’t accept it- that all of this, all of this stirring and shaking up was bound to this once place.

Boldness means independence, detachment from place and circumstance. But what kind of flower can be unrooted from the grounds where it prospered? None that I knew. But…a flower that can grow without light, water and air is one that can never be disheartened, dried or suffocated. One that will prevail eternally and live boldly, always.

I strive, every day, to seek these unknown, unnamed and undefined waters, the shaking grounds. I want to swim, float, bathe in them. I want to walk, jump, dance on them. And whenever my gaze moves up, my head rests in my neck and looks up, into the sky- I know that this, boldness, the feeling it evokes, is what I need- to grow, develop and flourish. That this is the path I need to follow, that here, the daring, bold and untested, is where I need to be. I will not settle for the ordinary, I will trust, I will not emote, I will not fabricate, I will be. Bold.





Pants- I am Gia The Label

Sweater- Céline

Ankle Boots- Saint Laurent

Boots- Mou

Shot by Sarah Johanna




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The both of us sit in the metro, looking around. I am looking at the people crowded around us, the surroundings we pass…I catch him doing the same, carrying a facial expression as if he were in deep, complicated thoughts- my 5 year old brother.

I ask him, out of the blue and after a few minutes of silence: “What are you thinking about?“
The answer is: “About nothing“

Thinking about nothing, when have I last thought about nothing? Where I was still present, still absorbed the impressions of my surroundings, where my mind, however, was free of cloudiness and clutter? It must have been a long time ago, as I cannot recall…

When I think, my thoughts circle around memories, which are in the past, or what I will do once we get off of the metro and are home, how my plan is for the upcoming day or week. Though I exist in the present, my thoughts are generally in the past or future. What about the present and no thoughts at all?

Letting go of all these thoughts that circle our heads has been forgotten. Being a child again. They do not have this sense of time we have, so the only option available is living in the moment. Living in the moment to me means enjoying the little things, embrace the bad equally as the good and most importantly open up one’s heart to wonder. This sense of wonder dies within us with every year we become more “mature“, “grown up“…more socially accepted as “adult“. We are taught to think about our future, who we aspire to be, with whom or not we want to be, what we want to become and accordingly our thoughts are shaped, not solely by us, however. It is also not wrong to spare some thoughts on these subjects, but they should not control our existence, being in the present and limit our capability to live in the moment and merely BE.

I, for my part, want to save this little piece of wonder within me and stay a child in this aspect, the typical Peter Pan syndrome you might think, but no! Maturity is important, but so is wondering and living in the moment- we need a healthy balance. Some of us will need to learn to wonder again, but the more you wonder the more you learn- about yourself, the world and people around you.

Sometimes we just need to declutter ourselves, let go, dance and finally live.






Shot by Sarah Johanna