pictures taken by Laura Zeppelin
Tag Archives: #life
COMFORT
Being-
In this state: comfort.
Is the epitome of bliss—
where I unwind, unfetter from futile worries, stop rationalizing and instead…
roam, am aware and blazingly taking this step
Albeit- no stone’s been set.
Growth and Consolidation.
This journey is my life, this journey is my task. Finding balance.
There have been months of consolidation and months of growth-
Imbalance is unharmonious, not in synch- which I want to be. With myself, the environment and this journey. I had to reflect to learn, learn to know and know to grow. It is a cycle, we inhabit- of life. Doubt overcame me: regarding my Self, my outer shell and task.
Until I finally found both! Where I could consolidate, while growing and grow while consolidating.
Doubt comes, but it also goes fast. Ultimately, I chiseled on a foundation until it was steadfast. A foundation to remain on and stand steadily- may the winds blow and the waves crash.
This became my point of consolidation, from which I would explore, grow and wander. My place of confidence, trust and belief.
Since then, I have chiseled on many along this journey- there is no going back, no stagnating. It needs to suit my needs, my growth, my Self of that given time. It supports my step and allows me to…
Step on shaking grounds that are on the verge of erupting, making for a fertile soil. Or, even where no stone has been set and just risking this step.
It is nerve-wrecking, challenging and beyond anything the mind can rationally grasp. It tickles something inside that I have yet to uncover, but can feel. So I am- and always grow on erupting grounds and consolidate on my current chiseled foundation. I am my rock.
Anything is possible, with comfort- in heart and mind.
A gamble of chance. A certainty of destiny. A journey of love.
Shot by Sarah Johanna
*This post was made possible due to the kind team at RADICE sleep, who’ve sent me their sleep-wear on a loan basis for this shooting. Learn more about RADICE here.
BOLDNESS
Where did it come from, all of a sudden? From within? From outside? From me? From them? Could it have been this city, that granted me this ability, this trait? Possibly…no Im certain of it. A side of me that hasn’t received any light, water and hope, a side that couldn’t grow or flourish. A flower that hasn’t been given the environment it needed, to grow, flourish and blossom. But here- this environment- it gave it all that: light to shine, water to grow, air to breathe and hope to be bold.
There must have been something about this place, that made the conditions just right. It only took a week, seven days- I felt it in my heart, I saw it in the sky, how the stars align. No more! I quit, I’m done- with being timid to undermine my capabilities, biting my tongue to keep me from saying what I want to, being in denial of who I really am. Bold.
I see it everywhere; boldness I mean. I see it in myself, I see it in others, bust most importantly I believe in it; this world. A world of making bold choices, choices that might scare me, be outside of my comfort zone- but this is merely a limitation I placed on myself, I am boundless, I can be bold- I need to be, for me to be me. To dare and float in waters unknown, unnamed, undefined. Risk the step, confidently, on shaking grounds. There is no coming back from this, awakened, it erupts, breaks free. Only forward, always bold.
For a while however, when the circumstances changed, once again. It vanished. It was gone. I couldn’t find it anywhere. I was determined, nonetheless, to return to this state of boldness, my true self- where I was permitted to be confident, risk, fall and stand up again- with arms waiting for me to grasp them. It cannot be, I couldn’t accept it- that all of this, all of this stirring and shaking up was bound to this once place.
Boldness means independence, detachment from place and circumstance. But what kind of flower can be unrooted from the grounds where it prospered? None that I knew. But…a flower that can grow without light, water and air is one that can never be disheartened, dried or suffocated. One that will prevail eternally and live boldly, always.
I strive, every day, to seek these unknown, unnamed and undefined waters, the shaking grounds. I want to swim, float, bathe in them. I want to walk, jump, dance on them. And whenever my gaze moves up, my head rests in my neck and looks up, into the sky- I know that this, boldness, the feeling it evokes, is what I need- to grow, develop and flourish. That this is the path I need to follow, that here, the daring, bold and untested, is where I need to be. I will not settle for the ordinary, I will trust, I will not emote, I will not fabricate, I will be. Bold.
OUTFIT DETAILS
Pants- I am Gia The Label
Sweater- Céline
Ankle Boots- Saint Laurent
Boots- Mou
Shot by Sarah Johanna
WONDER AGAIN
The both of us sit in the metro, looking around. I am looking at the people crowded around us, the surroundings we pass…I catch him doing the same, carrying a facial expression as if he were in deep, complicated thoughts- my 5 year old brother.
I ask him, out of the blue and after a few minutes of silence: “What are you thinking about?“
The answer is: “About nothing“
Thinking about nothing, when have I last thought about nothing? Where I was still present, still absorbed the impressions of my surroundings, where my mind, however, was free of cloudiness and clutter? It must have been a long time ago, as I cannot recall…
When I think, my thoughts circle around memories, which are in the past, or what I will do once we get off of the metro and are home, how my plan is for the upcoming day or week. Though I exist in the present, my thoughts are generally in the past or future. What about the present and no thoughts at all?
Letting go of all these thoughts that circle our heads has been forgotten. Being a child again. They do not have this sense of time we have, so the only option available is living in the moment. Living in the moment to me means enjoying the little things, embrace the bad equally as the good and most importantly open up one’s heart to wonder. This sense of wonder dies within us with every year we become more “mature“, “grown up“…more socially accepted as “adult“. We are taught to think about our future, who we aspire to be, with whom or not we want to be, what we want to become and accordingly our thoughts are shaped, not solely by us, however. It is also not wrong to spare some thoughts on these subjects, but they should not control our existence, being in the present and limit our capability to live in the moment and merely BE.
I, for my part, want to save this little piece of wonder within me and stay a child in this aspect, the typical Peter Pan syndrome you might think, but no! Maturity is important, but so is wondering and living in the moment- we need a healthy balance. Some of us will need to learn to wonder again, but the more you wonder the more you learn- about yourself, the world and people around you.
Sometimes we just need to declutter ourselves, let go, dance and finally live.
Shot by Sarah Johanna
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